So you’ve decided to finally take the plunge (pun totally intended) and try anal play… or maybe you have been enjoying it… either way, make sure you play it safe. Nothing ruins the mood more than unwelcome pain or a trip to the emergency room.
Let me start by saying that anal play and/or sex, when done properly, should NEVER hurt. I wish someone would have told me that prior to my first try at it! My first experience was horrific – picture no prep and a violent thrust causing tears and no desire to try again.
The anus has tons of nerve endings, making it prime territory to explore solo or with a partner. The orgasms that you can achieve can be absolutely toe-curling in my experience. So, what are these butt sex safety rules?
Here are six rules to always follow…
1) Flare is a Must – When using toys anally, you absolutely MUST use ones with a flared base or hand hold. This prevents them from getting lost in the rectum (which would definitely require a trip to the ER). Unlike the vagina, things can get sucked up and lost in the rectum if there isn’t something to stop them.
2) Don’t Go Numb – Lots of people are eager to dose up with numbing agents such as Anal Eze in hopes of avoiding pain during anal play. Let me repeat myself here… when done properly, it should never hurt. I don’t suggest using these products. Your body sends pain signals to let you know that something is wrong. If you can’t feel what is going on, then you risk serious injury because you don’t know when to stop.
3) Pain Does NOT Equal Gain – If you are feeling pain, you need to stop and evaluate what might need to be done differently. You have two sphincters: the external and the internal. To relax the external sphincter, all you have to do is release all tension. To relax the internal sphincter, the body has to have time to adjust. Pain can be your body’s way of telling you that you need to slow down a bit as your sphincters relax.
4) Keep it Clean – I’m not referring to enemas here, though they are available. When playing anally, don’t insert anything in the vagina that has been in the anus until it has been thoroughly cleaned (this includes fingers, penis, toys, etc.). If you are determined to keep using your porous toys (jelly, UR3), then definitely use a condom over them. I strongly encourage you to use only body safe toys such as silicone, glass, aluminum, etc. If using anal beads, choose beads without a porous string connecting them since it cannot be cleaned well and will be a one time use toy.
5) Lots of Lube – The anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication, so using a good lube is a must. Water-based or silicone lubes work well. A thicker lube is often preferred (“gel” instead of “liquid”). Their are also special lubes made specifically for anal sex, such as Sliquid Sassy. Use lots of lube and keep it close by since you may need to reapply. Keeping things slippery will make everything much more comfortable.
6) Talk it Out – Communication is the key to great sex. If you are playing with a partner, it is important to be honest about how it feels, what you want different, and your emotions that go along with it. Be mindful to listen to your partner and check in often.
What other butt sex safety tips do you have?