So you’ve decided to finally take the plunge (pun totally intended) and try anal play… or maybe you have been enjoying it…  either way, make sure you play it safe. Nothing ruins the mood more than unwelcome pain or a trip to the emergency room.


Let me start by saying that anal play and/or sex, when done properly, should NEVER hurt.  I wish someone would have told me that prior to my first try at it!  My first experience was horrific – picture no prep and a violent thrust causing tears and no desire to try again.

The anus has tons of nerve endings, making it prime territory to explore solo or with a partner.  The orgasms that you can achieve can be absolutely toe-curling in my experience.  So, what are these butt sex safety rules?

Here are six rules to always follow…

1)  Flare is a Must – When using toys anally, you absolutely MUST use ones with a flared base or hand hold.  This prevents them from getting lost in the rectum (which would definitely require a trip to the ER).  Unlike the vagina, things can get sucked up and lost in the rectum if there isn’t something to stop them.

2)  Don’t Go Numb –  Lots of people are eager to dose up with numbing agents such as Anal Eze in hopes of avoiding pain during anal play.  Let me repeat myself here… when done properly, it should never hurt.  I don’t suggest using these products.  Your body sends pain signals to let you know that something is wrong.  If you can’t feel what is going on, then you risk serious injury because you don’t know when to stop.

3)  Pain Does NOT Equal Gain –  If you are feeling pain, you need to stop and evaluate what might need to be done differently.  You have two sphincters:  the external and the internal.  To relax the external sphincter, all you have to do is release all tension.  To relax the internal sphincter, the body has to have time to adjust.  Pain can be your body’s way of telling you that you need to slow down a bit as your sphincters relax.

4)  Keep it Clean – I’m not referring to enemas here, though they are available.  When playing anally, don’t insert anything in the vagina that has been in the anus until it has been thoroughly cleaned (this includes fingers, penis, toys, etc.).  If you are determined to keep using your porous toys (jelly, UR3), then definitely use a condom over them. I strongly encourage you to use only body safe toys such as silicone, glass, aluminum, etc. If using anal beads, choose beads without a porous string connecting them since it cannot be cleaned well and will be a one time use toy.

5)  Lots of Lube – The anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication, so using a good lube is a must.  Water-based or silicone lubes work well.  A thicker lube is often preferred (“gel” instead of “liquid”).  Their are also special lubes made specifically for anal sex, such as Sliquid Sassy.  Use lots of lube and keep it close by since you may need to reapply.  Keeping things slippery will make everything much more comfortable.

6)  Talk it Out –  Communication is the key to great sex.  If you are playing with a partner, it is important to be honest about how it feels, what you want different, and your emotions that go along with it. Be mindful to listen to your partner and check in often.

What other butt sex safety tips do you have?


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3 Responses to Anal: Play Safe

  1. […] Six rules for safe butt sex; a guide to having safe enjoyable anal sex.  […]

  2. Naudia Lott says:

    My partner and I just recently started exploring with anal sex, so this post definitely got my attention. It’s very resourceful and I like how you’ve included both good and not so good aspects of it.l Anal can be super uncomfortable as well as risky health wise. However I’ve found excellent tips not only online but in this HILARIOUS guidebook from Tripp and Allie. I LOVE THIS BOOK (seriously) Its excellent for couples. It definitely made things more entertaining and approachable while also being very informative. Not to mention the part where they make the his and hers (new ideas) sex list…….. I almost pissed myself laughing because it’s so dead on. It’s a must have book. I got mine online at and conveniently they even had a 50% off coupon on their site. Such a steal for anyone experimenting with, or curious about, anal sex.

  3. Hayley says:


    I am a website manager at Comfort Click Ltd, an online natural healthcare provider specialising in lifestyle, sexual health advice and products for a range of female and male specific issues.

    I like your website and feel a lot of the issues discussed in some of the articles have a lot of relevance to the service that we provide, whether it’s toy tips or ways to maintain a satisfying sex life.

    I wanted to have an article published on your site if possible. My content team can write engaging stuff that is relevant and informative without being too technical.

    Alternatively, if you would be interested to review one of our products, we would be very happy to supply you with a range to pick from. We take pride in choosing high quality sex toys, amongst other intimate products, that you may wish to write a review for us about.

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    Kind Regards,


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