Do you like it hot… or cold? I’m not talking about your pizza, I’m talking about temperature play with your lover. Do you remember that icy kiss you lover planted on your hip after they chewed a piece of ice? That is just a taste of what temperature play can be. When you hear about it, you might think of BDSM, but it can be modified to satisfy vanilla tastes too.

temperature play

Glass toys are designed to hold temperature, so they are a great accessory to get you started with temperature play. Grab a bowl, fill it with warm/hot water, and submerge your glass toy. Allow it to sit for a few minutes and it should be ready to play with. Be sure to check the temperature on the inside of your wrist prior to using it. If it is too hot there, then wait a few minutes for it to cool before using it on your more sensitive parts. I suggest avoiding the microwave to heat your toy. Microwaves can cause uneven heating and end up with dangerous hot spots on your toy. You can reverse the process for cold play by filling the bowl with cold water (add some ice cubes to really make things cold). I even found directions on how to make an ice dildo (it looks intriguing).

Ice cubes rubbed across the body can cause chilling sensations. Drinking an iced drink or sucking on ice then kissing, licking, sucking your partner’s body gives delicious cold sensations too. I love this combined with oral sex.

Using hot candle wax is another fun way to heat things up. The distance the candle is held off of the skin allows more control over the heat of the wax. The higher up you hold it, the more time it has to cool before reaching the skin (18 inches is generally considered a safe distance). You then drip or pour the melted wax onto your partner’s skin. Cheap white paraffin or votive candles
are best for beginners. Beeswax candles melt at a much higher temperature, so the wax is much hotter on the skin. Check the temperature on yourself before applying to your lover. The back and shoulders are good spots to begin with. Be careful not to get the wax in your partner’s hair since it can be tricky to get out. Special candles are also made for this type of wax play.


If you want to turn up the volume, spank or flog your partner before adding heat or ice. The increase in blood flow to the surface of their skin will make it much more sensitive. I don’t suggest switching between ice and heat rapidly for beginners – it can cause serious burns.

Check in often with your partner to ensure you both have an amazing experience.  As you experiment with temperature play and get comfortable, you can amp it up with more advanced tactics. Go ahead, pick your poison…

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3 Responses to Temperature Play for Beginners

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  3. […] I like the versatility of this glass toy. You could put things such as a vibrator or rope through the hole for added fun. It can also be cooled or warmed for temperature play. […]

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