At the TMI Tuesday bar someone walks up to you and utters the following lines, Tell us how you would respond. (Let me start by saying that I am NOT a fan of pick up lines… but these were fun.)
1. Would you like to fake an orgasm with me tonight?
I’m not going to waste my time getting undressed if I have to fake it… and no one fakes with me, I deliver.
2. Did you just fart because you are blowing me away?
Ugh… gross. That definitely won’t get you laid.
3. You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies. (Would you accept?)
I don’t think so…
4. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
Hmmm… that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. (This one would warrant a lip bite & grin.)
5. You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.
I would probably roll my eyes and walk away on this one.
6. You look like a hard worker, I have an opening you can fill.
So you like anal too?
7. I don’t feel good, I think I need a shot of penis-illin.
Poor baby… I’m not packing though.
8. If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?
Bahahaha… only if you are in uniform.
Bonus: Belly up to the bar. What’s your pleasure? Which onedrink would you order and why?
Give me an After Sex… it sounds smooth and relaxing. A good choice after a long hard day.
Slippery NippleNo one can miss the innuendo in this drink’s name. It is comprised of equal parts Bailey’s Irish Cream and butterscotch schnapps. There are many different drink names that start with ‘Slippery’, most contain either Bailey’s Irish Cream or butterscotch schnapps.
After SexThis drink is made with vodka, crème de bananas, and orange juice.
Leg SpreaderNot for the faint of heart, there is nothing but liquor in this drink. It is made of four equal parts of nothing but alcohol: tequila, vodka, gin, and rum. Proceed with caution!
All Night LongThe inference in this name is probably what most people wish for, but one or two or these will have you passed out on the floor all night long. It contains sweet and sour mix, coconut rum, Kahlua, crème de cacao, and pineapple juice.
Sloe Comfortable ScrewThere are many drinks that play upon the pronunciation of sloe gin—pronounced slow gin. The rest of the name is a pun on all the other ingredients as well, to create a name that is as suggestive as you could want. Sloe gin for ‘slow,’ Southern Comfort for ‘comfortable,’ and orange juice and vodka for ‘screw’—as in a Screwdriver.